✅ Expert reviewed
This article has been reviewed by licensed marriage and family therapists to ensure that the guidance on rebuilding trust after betrayal is realistic, trauma‑informed, and grounded in current research.
6 key steps to fixing your relationship when there is no trust
The idea of relying unconditionally on another person can be scary. Trust requires vulnerability and opening yourself up to potential hurt or heartbreak.
Ask almost anyone what matters most in a relationship, and trust will be near the top of the list. So what happens when you or your partner no longer trust each other?
While not every relationship can or should be saved, some couples do manage to rebuild trust after serious breaches. The process is rarely quick or easy — but if both partners genuinely want to make it work, there are steps that can help.
What breaks the trust in a relationship?
Trust is a core component of a relationship. Whether you struggle to trust your partner because of your own history, or you are trying to rebuild trust after a specific betrayal, those cracks can have a big impact.
Common reasons trust breaks down include:
• Infidelity. Cheating, emotional affairs, or secret online connections. • Breaking promises. Repeatedly pledging to change — for example, promising to stop gambling, drinking, or messaging someone — and then breaking that promise. • Lying. Constant lying or keeping secrets erodes the sense that you can rely on each other. • Leaking personal information. Gossiping about a loved one or sharing their secrets can overstep boundaries and make them feel exposed. • Past trauma. Being cheated on in the past or growing up in an unstable family can affect how much you trust future partners. • Not prioritising the relationship. Consistently putting everyone and everything else first plants deep seeds of insecurity and leaves your partner wondering whether they can count on you when it matters.
Rebuilding trust often requires both individual healing and concrete changes in how you show up for each other.
What is the difference between love and trust?
We often talk about love as the foundation of relationships, but trust is just as vital.
You can deeply love someone and still struggle to trust them — especially after a betrayal. Feelings do not simply vanish when trust is broken.
Some studies suggest that couples who have been together longer may find it easier to recover after a breach of trust, but only when both partners are willing to do the work.
Without trust, love alone rarely feels like enough to sustain a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship.
Can you love someone and not trust them?
Yes, it is entirely possible to love someone but not trust them.
Letting go of love is rarely simple, and strong feelings can remain even when trust has been badly damaged.
However, while you can love someone you do not trust, that does not mean the relationship is working. Long‑term, a partnership without trust tends to feel unstable, stressful, or unsafe.
Couples therapy can sometimes help rebuild trust — but ultimately, it comes down to whether both of you are willing to change and to be accountable.
How do you fix a relationship with no trust?
Fixing a relationship without trust starts with looking honestly at what caused the breakdown in the first place.
If your trust issues come from previous experiences — such as being cheated on or growing up around broken promises — it may be time to address that history and take accountability for how it is affecting your current relationship.
Your feelings are valid. Consider individual therapy or talking openly with your partner so that your healing can come first.
If your partner has broken your trust, you will both need to take steps to make the relationship work. They will need to prove through consistent actions that they can earn your trust back, and you will need to decide whether you are able to forgive and try again.
Listening to their side of the story can provide context, but it should not be used to minimise or excuse what happened. Trying to convince yourself that there is no real problem may only reinforce hurtful behaviour.
Ways to rebuild trust in a relationship
1. Accept that healing takes time. Do not pressure yourselves to “get back to normal” immediately. A breach of trust can take a serious toll on mental health and physical closeness, and both people may need space to process.
2. Address the root causes. Look together at what led to the trust issue. Were there stressors, unhealthy coping mechanisms, or unspoken needs? Understanding the context can help prevent the same dynamic from repeating.
3. Be remorseful or forgiving. If you broke your partner’s trust, genuine remorse and empathy are essential. If you were the one hurt, you will need room to feel angry and sad — and eventually to decide whether forgiveness feels possible.
4. Clarify boundaries. Instead of ultimatums or constant monitoring, talk about boundaries that make both of you feel safer. What behaviours are not acceptable moving forward? What information or transparency do you need, realistically, to rebuild trust?
5. Take small, consistent steps. Grand gestures and expensive gifts rarely repair trust on their own. Daily follow‑through — text check‑ins, showing up on time, sharing more openly — usually matters more.
6. Focus on the positives, too. Remember what brought you together and what still feels good between you. Recalling earlier, happier moments is not about pretending everything is fine; it is about reminding yourselves that there is more to the story than pain, which can make the hard work of repair feel more worthwhile.
Can you have a relationship without trust?
So, can a relationship last without trust? If you want a healthy, mutually supportive partnership, the answer is usually no.
Honesty and openness are essential ingredients in long‑term relationships. While it may take time to rebuild trust after an incident, both partners need to decide whether they are willing to invest in that process.
If your love — and your shared values — are strong enough that you both want to stay, you can begin rebuilding trust one small, honest step at a time. If not, it may be kinder to acknowledge that staying together without trust will likely lead to more hurt in the long run.
